starfire

faded memory

I remember so little from that night. Yet that laughter continuously plays through my head. It's not comforting, it's more manic in tone and frightening when it comes back to me. I never understood why the tone was so dark. There was no light, the flame of life so far away. The stars were gone. The night was quiet. I couldn't even feel the ground under me. My body was numb.

I don't know how much time passed when I felt heat again. But this heat felt different, it felt restoring. The first thing I remember when I opened my eyes was staring up at the sun and feeling so connected to the orb that casted against my sight. I didn't want to leave it I felt stronger from it. I felt alive.

I've always felt I owed my life to the the sun.

• cntn

mornings are great

I am a morning person. Weird, right? It's great when you are a student but it's not great when you're training to be nurse. Everyone tells me, "Star, I don't understand how you can be so energetic during the day but not the night when we have to work at night." Trust me, I don't understand it either.

My worse fear is falling asleep on a patient or when a patient is in need but it's night. I always feel so weak at night. Sleep is necessary for me not optional especially at night. Yet when the sun is up I am fully awake. My energy when I'm in the sun is the best or during the day. I don't think I have the same connection to the moon that I have to the sun.

I just really hope I don't pass out on a patient that would so embarrassing.

• cntn

flamed attraction

I accidentally set something on fire today.

It was interesting how it happened. I was just on my break outside dancing around in the courtyard. I was snapping to the beat as it played. I had my eyes closed but then I heard a scream and when I opened them a bush was on fire.

I don't know how I knew it was me. Maybe it was the warmth I felt in those fingertips...or probably the fact the patient was pointing at me erratically looking back and forth. I know whenever I touched candles they would similarly ignite... even the ones in stores unfortunately.

I don't really understand it. Maybe the sun is a telling me something.

• cntn

tainted reminder

There are always these scenes that play in my mind when I feel low. This girl dark hair and eyes is always present. She's always so pretty when she smiles. It happens a lot when I'm close to an exam like she's giving me encouragement or hints. I think once she guided me through an essay like we were having a conversation as I wrote. I remember doing so well on that piece and feeling so confident in the story.

However, sometimes when I see her it's scary. She is covered in blood and mangled. It hurts when I see her like that. It only happens in my dreams and I always feel so much pain in those dreams. I always try to reach my hand out to her but it never makes it before something crushes my view and I wake up suddenly. I hate that dream. It's as if I'm forgetting something. Like I knew her at one time and now I can't remember her name just her face and our connection.

I miss her but I don't know why. It's like I'm no different from my patients trying to jigsaw together the parts of a puzzle where the pieces are missing.

• no
• cntn

KITV 4 BREAKING NEWS

We have report that two adolescent girls and one boy are missing from their vacation home in Makena. They are visiting from South Korea. The reported ages of the girls are 17 and the other is 19. The gentlemen was reported to be 18. Known to be seen at Oneuli Beach late yesterday afternoon and reported missing late this morning. We do not currently have the names or pictures of these ladies and the gentleman but we are following this story closely.

Stay tuned for updates during our during our 6 o'clock report.

If you have any information about the reported individual's locations call into the hotline listed on screen below.

• hm

friends

I made a friend, I think. I'm not exactly sure but he lives with me that's a good sign, right? It's interesting to find someone who likes fire. The people I know are afraid of it. Also he knew who Sekhmet was! He calls me Sekh which is a first but I like it close to the sun.

He's pretty quiet probably the exact opposite of the patients I see. I only say that because the way he talks about things reminds me of the stories I've heard. The stories he tells me are pretty surprising. I didn't know people were so creul to each other.

I hope one day he will open up to me and we will become closer. Also he says a lot of things I haven't exactly heard before but he's really kind about explaining them. He didn't think I was joking like most people do.

It's comforting to have someone else in the house. He let me read to him on my day off and we talked about our nightmare the other night. It's weird but comforting. He keeps thinking I'm going to kick him out and asks me why I helped him. I wouldn't and I think it's because we had things in common. It seems we have more but I guess I'll find out one day.

Either way I was gald to help him and I think little by little we are becoming closer.

• cntn

Crashing Waves

One of our patients started talking about their childhood. I was listening but some of the things they said made me think. I don't remember mine. The little stories they told are always so vivid. I can imagine the laughter of children and the even the smiles as they spoke. It's peaceful and warming. I enjoy those moments.

But then they ask me what my childhood was like. I usually make up something because nothing comes to mind but today something did.

Crashing waves. The sound of water and the feeling of cold...a fading type of cold. That voice and the song laced in fear. That voice was always so familiar like the only bit of warmth left in that moment.

Hold on.
Through lightning, storm, and rain
even if you feel nothing but pain.
Like the sun, I'll shine through to lift it all away

• no
• cntn

KITV 4 BREAKING NEWS

tw: murder, homocide

Maui PD are on the search for a eighteen year old Korean male as pictured on the screen. The suspect has been determined to be dangerous and at large. He is said to be 5'11, have dark brown eyes, and when last seen to have blond hair. He is believed to be a citizen of South Korea. The suspect is wanted for suspected homocide.

The search party was day four into the search when a body was found. There is no update on the identity of the victim though remains have been recovered. A second body was not found but evidence at the scene provided that the victim may have been moved to another location. The family has been notified to provide identification. The search continues for the second victim. More updates soon.

If you have any information about the reported individual's locations or the crime please call into the hotline listed on screen below.

• hm

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